Wacky Quotes: Football

So, last Friday, I dropped a little hint about the theme for this week’s Awesome Quotes: sports. And to serve that purpose, Awesome Quotes is, for a two week period, Wacky Quotes!

In the face of brutal acts like the school massacre in Pakistan, the Charlie Hebdo murders in Paris or countless other such outrageously inhumane deeds, if there’s anything we need and must muster, its unity. In the eye of the storm. If we are to salvage the slowly but surely crumbling constructs of our society.

And I believe sport and music are probably two of a very, very few things under the sun that truly unite us.

So, Welcome to the first ever edition of Wacky Quotes! This week we take up football. The one that’s also called soccer. Not the one that involves charging into each other, trying to disarm the other of an egg-shaped ball, ending up almost dismembering them. shudders

Football is, for a very valid list of reasons, the most watched sport on the planet. I haven’t been one of those guys who has watched football since forever. My family isn’t the football kind. We’re more into cricket and so was I until maybe three years back.

Once you really understand it and appreciate it, football is a wonderful game.

But no sport is truly complete without training interviews, pre-match interviews, post-match presentations, press releases, and other media features. It is during these situations that coaches, managers, staff, and players either drop gems or complete bombs.

Wacky Quotes, however, is here to bring you just the bombs, no strings attached. For your pleasure.

So enjoy, go LOLing over some of the wackiest quotes from the footballing world.


“We lost because we didn’t win.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

The multiple Ballon d’Or winner has had great moments in his glittering career. This, wasn’t one of those.

“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.” – Stuart Pearce

Hell of a mixup, Mr. Pearce.

“I’d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.” – Johnny Giles

Its going to be rather difficult finding that last one, Johnny boy.

“Sometimes in football, you have to score goals.” – Thierry Henry

Pretty weird coming from a striker of such stature.

“One year I played fifteen months.” – Franz Beckenbauer

He ain’t bound by no laws of time crap, bruh.

“I have a good record there. Played one, won one.” – Steven Gerrard

May the odds be ever in your favour, Stevey.

“It’s an unprecedented precedent.” – Clark Carlisle

Well, uhm…

“I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” – Mark Draper

Sure, Mark, right when Barcelona up and relocates down to Italy.

“I think that France, Germany, Spain, Holland and England will join Brazil in the semi-finals.” – Pele

Pele invents a new game.

“Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.” – Jose Mourinho

No list of wacky quotes is complete without Mourinho.


Aaaand that’s it for this week’s Wacky (Awesome Quotes)! Check in again next Friday for the second edition of Wacky Quotes, this one on Cricket!

See ya guys next week!

The Occupational Hazard

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Image Courtesy – http://www.flickr.com

Jonathan trundled along, leaning into Steve. He pressed the blood – soaked napkin onto his right hand and held it in a sling made from his left hand.

He could already feel the onset of spasms deep in his belly. His occasional groans would echo in his ears for a while and then fade away into the dense undergrowth. He could still see, that speckled band, hissing. Should he not have been dying, Jonathan knew that that image would haunt him for a long, long time.

A sparrow, chirping its lungs out, flew above them with another in pursuit.

The spasms grew exponentially over the next couple of minutes and gave way to delusions. “Why am I so stupid, Steve? Huh?” he would mumble. He would keep mumbling for several minutes and then stop as suddenly as he had begun.

“Just hang on Johnny. We’re getting there. I just need you to hang in there, okay buddy?” Steve held back a tear.

Steve understood the gravity of the situation. He knew what was going on. He knew what was going on even before it happened.

You know that tingly feeling you have before you do something exciting? That feeling that people call the adrenaline rush? And then when you look back at how awry things went you realise that that feeling was mixed with a tinge of fear, of apprehension. This was the feeling Steve had. This was the feeling he dreaded. This was the feeling we all shrink from.

He saw the mornings events replay in his mind.

Continue reading “The Occupational Hazard”